A Delicate Situation

A spider told me something I really, really didn’t like.

This was not a sweet little Charlotte’s Web moment, with some word delicately woven into an intricate creation that glistened with dew.

But if it were, the word would have been “Nope.” Apparently.

I have a lot of dreams. Not as in aspirations and hopes and future plans… as in crazy, wacked out, completely ridiculous nocturnal psychodrama. And the latest one has me not the slightest bit amused.

I dreamed that a relatively large spider spun her way down from the ceiling to my bed – my bed, people – on a thick thread of her own silk. I regarded her almost exactly the way I would regard any spider that made her way into my bed. I regarded her with disgusted, creeped-out scorn.

I hate spiders.

Then I woke up. And when I looked up what this dream might mean, I learned of more reasons to hate spiders.

Spiders, according to dreammoods.com, can indicate that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation.

In my own bed? Where I was sleeping alone? Jeez, how sad is that? I don’t even want to think about how depressing that is.

They can indicate that you want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation.

Oh dear. Charlotte’s on to me. You see… oh, how do I not put too fine a point on this?… the day I dreamed this, I may or may not have been fleetingly pondering the appeal of a certain fellow whose appeal I really should not be pondering. And I suspect he’s pondering as well. He’s too young, he’s sooo not my type, and oh yeah, we work together. Really fun in theory. Disastrous in reality. And I do not do disastrous.

Staying away from an alluring and tempting situation. In my bed. Damn you, Charlotte. How did you know?

But that wasn’t all. No, no… there was still more prophecy to be revealed. Spiders are symbolic of…an overbearing mother figure in your life.

Oh, hello. Yeah, jackpot. Mother + bed = very, very bad. Catholic kind of bad.
An alluring and tempting situation involving my bed and a particular fellow who’s totally the wrong man for me (and is not my husband) basically screams my mother’s voice in my head.

And avoiding the alluring and tempting situation involving my bed and a particular fellow who’s totally the wrong man for me, with my mother’s voice in my head, means that Charlotte’s web would say “NOPE.”

In case you’re wondering, my mother’s name is not Charlotte. That would just be too much.

Ugh. I really hate spiders.


2 thoughts on “A Delicate Situation

  1. Interesting that you refer to the spider as “she” at the outset … obviously you have no confusion over reality and subconscious. I quite like creatures, and spiders when they are where they should be, it’s just the thought of them imposing in your space when they appear in your home – Eeuuhh!

    • Ha… I think that’s because I once heard/read that only female spiders spin webs. Otherwise I’d probably just call it “it.” I’m not sure if that factoid is correct; I would google it, but I’m afraid I’ll be confronted with a photo of a spider. Just finding the Charlotte’s Web image was a little hairy for me.

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