Pretend there’s a big candle shaped like a 1 here. Oh, and a cake.

So, today I’ve been blogging for a year. I thought I came to this whole thing pretty late in the proverbial game, and most of the bloggers I read have proven me correct, because they have months and months of backstory. I am very thankful to the 72 of you who subscribe, but I wish you would all actually read my posts. My stats show that this is nowhere near the case. Please leave me a note telling me why you don’t read all my posts. Those of you who don’t leave notes will have shown yourselves. (Aha! A clever ruse to uncover the deadbeats! This is not unlike how I schemed to discover whether there really was a Santa.)

That’s no way to treat my subscribers. I’m sorry. Please read me.

I would also like to say that I have completely given up the hope of ever being Freshly Pressed. I’m fairly sure the FP gods have found some sort of dirt on me or something. Or they are chaired by my kindergarten and first grade teachers, who did not like me at all, and who may or may not still be alive, and also by my ex-boyfriend Mitch, who frankly has no room to be critical. That’s okay, though. That’s fine. That means I’ll never experience the soaring thrill of having hundreds and hundreds of hits in one day only to drop back down to mere dozens (of delightful, wonderful, faithful people who search for “tarpon” every day on the internet and find my homepage because I once wrote a post about a terrible show called When Fish Attack 2).

Seriously, you can’t believe how many people search for tarpon on any given day.

Actually, though, I did experience the thrill of hundreds of hits, twice. One time was when I wrote a post I wound up deleting because someone figured out who I was and that is a no-no here on So I had to kill them. It. I had to kill it. The post.

The other day that wound up being kick-ass in the stat department was March 8th.

Do you not remember what happened that day?

That was the day that 537 people searched for Karen Santorum, and 192 for Ann Romney, and somehow got my homepage. I’ve posted exactly one entry that featured photos of them. I guess that’s what triggered the magic.

I should take this opportunity to point out that the actual candidates themselves scored very, very low on my search stats. In fact, Michele Bachmann got lots more searches than anyone else, and she dropped out, like, five years ago. Her searches totaled over 200. Coming in second to her was Newt Gingrich, vis-a-vis the moon, with five.

Not a typo. With all those political posts I’ve written, not a single person who searched for any of the other candidates made their way to my blog, unless they wanted to see Mr. Gingrich and the moon.

I suppose this means I am not a leading source for information on the presidential race.

But I am a leading source on tarpon.

So that’s something.

This, I think, will be my 171st post. Some quick math tells me that means I’ve spent somewhere between 171 and 342 hours writing in the last 365 days. Hey, that’s not bad! I’m no Ernest Hemingway, but frankly, who wants to be Ernest Hemingway? That guy was pretty miserable. I’ve never aspired to be a tortured soul writing to exorcise demons. That just happens by accident sometimes.

Also, a good portion of those hours may have been spent searching Google Images for pictures to steal and put in my posts, and/or fight with over being my featured image, as Dan Bain over at can attest, if he’s not dead.

Sometimes I wish I could tag people in posts like they do on Facebook. Or poke them.

In actual fact, I spend eight hours a day writing at work in some form or fashion (I’m omitting the hours I spend staring at the screen, either trying to make sense out of something senseless that someone else has written, or waiting for someone else to finish their part of the project). But that’s really not a ton of fun, so this blog began as a chance to stretch my writing muscles, to be completely inconsistent and post on whatever I darn well please on any given day. Or not at all. Whether its working, I suppose, is best left to my readers. Don’t ask the Freshly Pressed judges.

And I guess I should also apologize for the posts that sucked. I know there are some real duds in here. Mea culpa.

So on this, my first blogoversary, I thank all of you who have read, commented, liked, ranted, loved, hated, thought about, agreed with, completely vehemently and potentially violently disagreed with, condemned, beatified, and/or otherwise reacted in any way to my writing at any time over the last year. I look forward to seeing you every day, and I’ve truly enjoyed reading almost all of what I’ve read from other writers since I started this escapade last Ides of March.

I don’t think I picked that date on purpose. But you can’t say you weren’t warned.


28 thoughts on “Pretend there’s a big candle shaped like a 1 here. Oh, and a cake.

  1. Congratulations on your one year anniversary, that is a wonderful accomplishment!!

    I too have given up on being freshly pressed, quite frankly I think they suck and I don’t care if I am freshly pressed or not. I am now up to 79 wordpress subscribers but have no real idea how to check my stats, when my blog does become successful it will be by chance, because I am really clueless in the technology department.

    I confess I don’t read your blog every post because I get the blog via e-mail and sometimes when I’m really, really busy I will pass on it because I just don’t have the time. You do know that some of your posts are actually quite long with lots of information and ideas to process, don’t you? πŸ™‚ Sometimes I just need fluff. There I said it. And not the marshmellow kind.

    Anyway, keep blogging whether people read it or not, it is a great documentation of your journey. πŸ™‚

  2. Congrats on your blog birthday, singlecell. I’ve enjoyed reading your stuff. I have random days as well where a gazillion (well, not really) people view my blog. It seems to have no rhyme or reason, and always makes me wonder. No tarpon searches, though. You’ve got that market cornered.

  3. Happy Blog-a-versary, Single Cell. I do read your posts, try to comment when I can, and enjoy what I read. I, too have given up on ever being FP’d. But that’s okay.

    • Thanks k8! You’ve been great about reading and commenting. I always enjoy seeing something new from you, whether it’s a thought on my page or a new post on yours. Plus I’ve always loved your gravatar photo. Keep up your great writing!

    • And if it is any comfort, and I doubt that it is, my most viewed post was “Does this Cement Make My Butt Look Big” about the Miami transgendered person who was arrested for injecting a combination of cement and Fix-a-Flat into women’s posteriors to, ahem, enhance them.

  4. I think probably all your subscribers read all your posts, but I don’t think it shows up on your stats if they just read it in email form — they actually have to come to WordPress to count — at least that’s what I believe. I read all of your posts, even though I don’t always comment and I think you’re writing muscles have stretched nicely. Congratulations on your year! For what its worth, some of my favorite posts of yours are when you deal with your family. I also loved your very touching posts while you helped, as best you could, your friend through his brother passing away. I always read your posts. Always. Here’s to another great year!

    • Thank you! I appreciate you letting me know what you liked best. I read your posts more often that I comment, as well. Hope you’re enjoying your experience blogging – you’re newer than me! Hmmm, I wonder if you’re right about the stats. Anybody know if my friend PDX is correct?

  5. PDX is definitely correct! I get your whole post in my email on my phone, so if I have no clever or witty or thoughtful comment (which is often, even when you see me here), then I don’t click over to WordPress and my read doesn’t count on your stats. Actually, that was going to be my answer to you, but PDX beat me to it. I started putting a break in my posts to try and beat that, but I don’t know that it helped my stats very much. But I have fewer readers, too.

    I also can’t read some of the longer ones right away, but I always come back to them. Also, some of your posts are so thought provoking that I need time to gather my thoughts. I had a lot of swirling thoughts provoked by some of your “days of christmas” posts, but they were so close together that I didn’t have time to get my act together before I was reading and thinking about the next one. That is not a criticism of the timing, but just a reason why I didn’t comment more on those.

    I also particularly enjoy the family posts, and seeing the dynamics of another group of people that are similar and different than my group of people.

    • Thanks, Stoney. I know you’ve always been a loyal reader and commenter – and I appreciate that constant support! I’m glad I make you think sometimes, and thank you for confirming PDX’s correct info on the stats! Very good to know!

  6. This is all perspective, imo. I’ve been blogging longer; have about the same number of posts but fewer subscribers. I’m pretty sure it’s because chickens are more boring than politics, and of course, married people are married, which means no dating posts, which are apparently wildly popular. I’m pretty sure most people think book posts are boring too, but they score me free books, so I’m not complaining.

    I like personal posts, too, fwiw. πŸ™‚ Happy anniversary. Hide the cake so you can eat it by yourself the rest of the week…..

    • I must admit I generally don’t go looking for chicken blogs. That being said, your latest post with the pic of the eggs in the red-painted coop is darling. I love it. I hope you weren’t offended if you read my post about the free-range eggs in mayonnaise. And I don’t have a cake… but I did just eat a brownie. Maybe that counts! I’m totally hogging them anyway.

      • πŸ˜† Of course not!

        Absolutely eat all the brownies! But make a cake, too- or maybe cupcakes……mmmmmmm…..I β™₯ cupcakes!!!! I mean, someone has to set the example! πŸ˜€

  7. Congrats on your one year blogosversary! Hopefully I will make it to a year. Still have several months to go.

    I’ve enjoyed your personal interest pieces the most. I’ll be honest, I don’t read much in terms of politics on blogs. I usually skip over those, no matter who writes them. I know they are wildly popular to the majority, but I’m kind of disgusted by the state of both parties, so while I do vote, I just don’t enjoy reading about it during my spare time. Don’t want to offend anyone, but just being honest.

    Wow, maybe I should delete all that nonsense, huh?

    Again, happy anniversary, and all the best to your future success!

    • No, no! I’m always interested in people’s habits and what appeals to them. I do know that my political posts are as likely to drive some readers away as they are to attract others, so I don’t hold all my subscribers to reading those in particular.

      I would have thought you’d been going longer than a few months! Thanks for popping over!

      • You have a clear voice and are an excellent writer. I think you should always write what gets you excited.

        I learn so much from people like you. I try to comment on every post I read, but I’ve got over 200 on my RSS feed that I read, so I don’t always read all of them every day.

        Here’s to another year to you!

  8. Happy Blog-o-versary!! That’s a lot of writing, and loads of dedication, in one year.

    (As an aside, I was FP once, very early in my blog life. It was not a lightning rod for my blog. BUT, if you want to be FP, the last time checked, the WP editor’s name was Erica, and you email her at and pitch something as an idea for a feature. She may or may not pick it up, but there you go.)

    I hope you have many more bloggity years ahead of you, and I look forward to reading.

  9. Happy Birthday πŸ™‚ Hundreds of hits on a post (for any reason) is a fantastic accomplishment! Keep up the great work, you are a wonderful writer and I enjoy reading you very much. Here’s to another year! Cheers!

    ps please eat a peice of birthday cake for me πŸ˜‰

  10. Congratulations, my friend. I appreciate your work, although some of it leaves me not knowing quite what to say (that’s an unusual condition for me). I, too, would like to have more comments but I’ll keep writing whether I get them or not. The search term that lead most often to my blog is “old man shoes” and my most visited post is “the Living Desert,” which was a throw away about creatures we find around in our house. Go figure.

    Re being FP’d. My post that they Pressed had all of the figures attributed to the source, which I don’t usually do. Maybe just coincidence, maybe not. It wasn’t my favorite by a long shot, another throw away.

    I’ll continue to come by and comment when I have something to say.

    • Thank you my friend! I used to attribute all my pics per WP’s recommendations and then I stopped caring… ha! It does seem random – I’ve seen a fair bit of not very good writing on the FP page, so I won’t take it too personally. πŸ™‚ I remember your Living Desert post. Scorpions! Thanks for being a faithful reader!

  11. Most blogs don’t make it a year, so that’s actually a pretty great milestone to celebrate. Congrats!

    Don’t worry about FP. Yes, it’s fun to see your stats zoom for a day or two, but then they drop off with only a wee residual of readers sticking around for further interaction, and it’s kind of like what I imagine a druggie feels like coming off a buzz.

    However, you definitely deserve a larger audience. Your writing is solid, and you can run the range from funny, to smart, to political, to profound without appearing to break a sweat. That’s talent. Just remember your first 72 loyal subscribers when it all clicks in place! (Except for the deadbeats who failed to comment here. You can totally forget them.)

    • You, my dear Pithy, are a treasure. Thank you for your kind words. I used to think I didn’t care how many people read my blog. I was a damned liar. But seriously, it’s alright – I do have great readers, like you!

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