…Almost everything I’m wearing is clean.
…I have a hair appointment for next week, because that shit is desperately needed.
…It turns out I really did pay my final month’s rent and the law enforcement people need not pester me with summonses after all because that was a total overreaction, people, and also you can’t evict me from a place I don’t live in anymore. Get it together.
…I have three absolutely adorable nephews and 2/3 of what will undoubtedly be an absolutely adorable niece.
…My parents are still mostly able-bodied except for my mother’s selective head injury.
…When my boss told me he needed to speak with me and had me follow him into his office, it was only because he wanted me to move desks and not because he wanted me to leave the building immediately and cease drawing pay from the company. Which is sort of what I thought he was going to say, because who makes you come to their office to ask if they can move your desk? WTF, boss? Scared the crap out of me.
…No one else can smell that smell coming from my shoes. I don’t think.
…I have never felt the need to shop on Black Friday.
…I am a week into living in my house and it hasn’t done anything to scare me yet.
…I have not actually engaged in any of the violence about which I have fantasized in the last year (but that intern had better watch out because I mean seriously).
…I am almost 100% confident that there will be no food poisoning this year.
Almost all M ost Some of my readers are still regularly reading and commenting.
…No one has found anything kind of weird and unidentifiable in any of my medical tests.
…I still know my name and where I live almost every time someone asks.
…I’ve never seen my own ass on that stock footage they use when they do obesity stories on the news.
…I have opposable thumbs. No, really. We take them for granted but they’re awesome.
…I’m not dating anyone so I don’t have to shave more than once a week.
…I never developed a third eye even though I lived really close to Three Mile Island when it went wonky.
…I’ve only fleetingly thought of turning to prostitution as a way to make a living, and then only when I could be really picky about the Johns.
…Justin Timberlake brought sexy back.
Happy Thanksgiving, my darling readers. What totally sincere thing are you thankful for?