On the Eighth Day of Christmas

New Year’s Day is the eighth day of Christmas. Last year, against my better judgment, I made a list of things I had learned in 2011. This year, probably also against my better judgment, I’m making a list of things I’d like to learn in 2013. Not resolutions. Note: NOT resolutions. Just some stuff I’d like to know better at the end of 2013 than I do at the beginning of it.

For example, I would like to learn:

-How to make a really, truly good lasagna

-More arias by Puccini

-How to get paint out of carpet

-My own worth

-More about history

-How to bette recognize and truly let go of lost causes

-How to be a more effective and prolific advocate for crime victims

-How to paint the nails on my right hand as well as I paint the nails on my left hand

-How to let other people see me vulnerable (in non-blog form)

-What it means to be truly loved

-How to get red wine splatter off a white ceiling without repainting the whole damned thing

-What yet another country looks like, in person

-Where I left my step stool (seriously, how do you lose a step stool?)

-More about my new community and who lives in it

-What it would take to fix Congress… because just voting everyone out is both unrealistic and also probably actually a really, really bad idea

-To be more open to new things

-A new, really good soup recipe

-How to clean my house the way Mary Poppins cleaned Jane and Michael Banks’ room

-A magic trick that makes laundry fold itself

-To be more productive and feel more purposed

-Better ways to get and keep my back healthier

-More grace

-When to keep my mouth shut

-More about where I came from

Happy New Year, my very valued blog friends and readers. What would you like to learn in 2013?

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13 thoughts on “On the Eighth Day of Christmas

  1. That’s quite a list. And quite a few items on your list, should be on mine 🙂 I am hoping you will let us know how it’s going.

  2. Liked your list! Check the garage and the attic for the step-stool.
    And as for the letting go of lost causes thing, that’s probably correlated, in some perverse way, with the obsessive-compulsive nature of being a writer. Sorry about that. The real problem with getting over lost-causes pursuits is that they sometimes pay off (like writing). I read somewhere that you can lengthen the extinction time for rats seeking a reward if the reward is administered only intermittently rather than consistently.

    • I have neither a garage nor an attic, but I do have good news: I found the step-stool! It was hiding (aka I probably deliberately put it) behind a wall hanging I’ve yet to put up, in my bedroom. Cross that off the list of things to learn! Yahoo! This year’s starting off great!

      As to your explanation of writers and lost causes… you’ve probably got it exactly right. For which I might be mad at you – I’m not sure. Ha. AND you may have also lit on why we can’t get rid of the rats in the alley!

    • Oh, sorry. DIdn’t mean to wear you out, there. A second read will show you that I’ve tried to balance the lofty aspirations with some really easy crap. I mean, who am I kidding?

  3. Here. I think I can help you cross these off your list:

    -How to make a really, truly good lasagna.
    Buy a cookbook.

    -How to get paint out of carpet
    Install hardwoods.

    -My own worth
    Create a Mint.com account.

    -More about history
    Read Harry Potter.

    -How to bette recognize and truly let go of lost causes
    Carry a St. Jude miniature in your pocket.

    -How to be a more effective and prolific advocate for crime victims
    Watch Law & Order marathons.

    -How to paint the nails on my right hand as well as I paint the nails on my left hand
    Wear a mirrorized glove on your right hand like Michael Jackson.

    -How to let other people see me vulnerable (in non-blog form)
    I recommend getting a massage in Berkeley Springs.

    -What it means to be truly loved
    Increase your Facebook friend count.

    -How to get red wine splatter off a white ceiling without repainting the whole damned thing
    White out.

    -What yet another country looks like, in person
    Visit an embassy.

    -Where I left my step stool (seriously, how do you lose a step stool?)
    Visit your neighbors.

    -More about my new community and who lives in it
    Post a missing wildcat flyer.

    -What it would take to fix Congress… because just voting everyone out is both unrealistic and also probably actually a really, really bad idea
    Warren Buffett riding a unicorn led by Al Gore.

    -To be more open to new things
    Again, I recommend the massage at Berkeley Springs.

    -A new, really good soup recipe
    Write down your first few attempts at lasagna.

    -How to clean my house the way Mary Poppins cleaned Jane and Michael Banks’ room
    Shove everything in the closet.

    -A magic trick that makes laundry fold itself
    Invite a man over and tell him the remote is in the bottom of the laundry basket.

    -To be more productive and feel more purposed
    Cross all the items off this list.

    -When to keep my mouth shut
    Never.

    -More about where I came from
    Hint: It’s called a Birth Canal.

    Now that we’ve settled that, what are you going to do with the other 362 days?

  4. Pingback: On the Twelfth Day of Christmas | thesinglecell

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