V-Day: The Plight Of the Newly-Dating

How do I like thee a lot, with potential for love in the future?

I made it clear to Rick that I have no expectations for Valentine’s Day. We’ve only been dating a month; he shouldn’t be obligated to do something, and there shouldn’t be any uncomfortable will she expect something? internal debate. I’m not one of those women who demands shows of affection in that short a time. I rarely demand much of anything in the way of gifts; I appreciate acknowledgment but don’t require much more than that unless it’s Christmas or my birthday.

In which case, pony up, pal. It doesn’t have to be pricey, but don’t just get me a thoughtless gift card or bottle of wine. I’m going to put a lot of thought into what I get you. Make some effort.

Of course, when you’ve only been dating someone a month, there’s a conundrum. You’re only going to get him something if he gets you something. And you can’t know if he’s getting you something until the day arrives, and the gift with it. So you figure you’ll hedge your bets, pick up a little thing or two, totally non-suggestive, and totally returnable or usable for yourself if he doesn’t get you something.

And let’s be honest: we’ve all had that significant other who we’d been with for quite a bit longer than a month, who made dinner plans with us on February 14th only to stand us up with no explanation until the next day, at which time he attempted to blame the weather. Forecast.

Or was that just me?

This was my plan for Rick: I was going to make homemade hot cocoa mix – an homage to our first date, on which we went in search of a hot beverage after dinner and found ourselves downing that God-awful Swiss Miss crap mixed with water. As fate would have it, I got an email last week with a recipe for the “ultimate” dry hot cocoa mix. Winning.

And as another little thing, I was going to give him a frame for his Super Bowl ticket, so he can keep it preserved.

But then I tried to cut my finger off 20 minutes before he arrived for his first visit to my house, during which time we were supposed to have dinner. And he spent the next six hours in an emergency room with me. And had to keep me from vomiting and/or passing out. And he didn’t get to eat dinner. And he held my purse.

I feel like that sort of upped the stakes a little.

So now, the big day is a mere 5.5 hours away from this writing and I have no idea what else I can do, if anything. Plus he’s not feeling well, and I’m working late, so I won’t see him on V-Day.

Well that should get you out of it, right? you think. Maybe not. You see, he could send something to my office. But I can’t/won’t send anything to his, because what do you send to a guy’s office when you’ve been dating him a month, that isn’t kind of creepy? You can’t send anything if you have to order it the day of, on the grounds that you’ve just gotten what he sent you. And also? I’m going to that building for a job interview in six days. So I should probably avoid showing everyone that I’m dating the newly-hired, highly-placed staff member who recommended me for the job (before the dating).

I had one idea. Rick loves James Bond movies, and Skyfall was released on DVD yesterday. I thought maybe I could add that to my other two gifts and let it be enough. But he already bought it.

So bake him something, right? Cookies.

Nope. He’s not into sweets.

Maybe I’m overthinking this. Maybe my ideas are plenty by themselves. Maybe he won’t send me anything at work and we’ll both be fine with a texted “happy valentines day” message, with or without proper punctuation or capitalization.

Who am I kidding? I’m a writer. I’m never okay with a lack of proper punctuation or capitalization.

A poem, maybe?
Blood is red,
my finger is blue,
we’ve been dating a month,
Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

Needs work.

Sigh. Never thought I’d hope a handsome, charming man would not send me flowers on Valentine’s Day.